“Why can’t you just be happy?” my wife asked me recently.
I paused and thought about it for a moment. “But I am happy. I am very blessed.” Then I preceded to give her a run down of all things I am grateful for including my marriage, kids, my business, health, friends etc.
I continued. “Baby (that’s my pet name for her), I think you are confusing happiness with contentment.”
“I am happy but I am never content. I don’t think I will ever be content. It is simply not my nature.” At that point I gave her a brief lesson on the nature of entrepreneurs.
Understand that true entrepreneurs are never content.
Stop fighting your nature. I have found over they years that virtually every entrepreneur struggles with being content or satisfied. They struggle because they believe that someday they will arrive and finally be content.
Sorry! It ain’t going to happen. Entrepreneurs are problem solvers. Their radar is constantly up and observing things that aren’t working or could be improved. We seek out opportunities to make things better and then hopefully take action to make things better.
We are always looking at things to improve. To the outside world this appears to be someone who is not happy with the way things are.
This nature extends beyond business. It shows up in our marriages, our health, our expectations of our children and so on.
Being an entrepreneur is a gift. We see things that most people don’t. We drive progress. We innovate. We improve.
The moment we stop being content, we cease to operate within our gifting. We stop being an entrepreneur.
Being an entrepreneur REQUIRES that we are discontent. The struggle for many of us to to equate contentment with happiness.
You can be discontent and still be happy. In fact, when you accept that fact that your nature is to be discontent, that in itself should leave your feeling happy.
Why? Because you are operating from a place where you living your true self. Stop fighting it.
Now, there are instances where our nature can become an extreme. We can simply take it to far, especially in the eyes of the others. Like nothing is every good enough. Nothing. This is an unhealthy and unproductive place to be.
Here are some tips that will help you remain more grounded, feel more satisfied and connect with being happy as an entrepreneur.
1- Take time to celebrate your successes. Specifically, schedule time each month to reflect on the improvements and advances that you have made in your business and life. Celebrate privately and with others.
2- Be grateful. Remember to appreciate the things that you do have. Again, make it part of your daily practice. Whether it be a morning or evening prayer or periodic moments of reflection where you stop and observe the good things in your life and business.
3- Smile and have fun. Don’t be so stinking serious and focused ALL the time. Have some fun. Take a break. Enjoy your life and YOUR work. You are most likely doing something that really is special and that you really like doing.
Now go be happy, be discontent and go make something better too!
One of our good friends has a 2 ½ year old daughter. She, like most other 2 year olds, can be a bit of a pill at times. That’s a polite way of saying, “She’s can be a pain in the butt.”
She will go on and on about something, kicking and screaming over the most seemingly insignificant things. At least to us. Her parents would jokingly declare, “The struggle is real.”
We laugh about it. It’s funny when we put it in perspective.
When it comes to business, the struggle is real too. But it’s no laughing matter.
Owning a business is tough. It’s hard. It can be a massive pill (see reference above).
And because it is tough I am going to say something I have never openly said before.
Business ownership and entrepreneurship is not for everyone. Not everyone should be a business owner. Many people need to give up their fantasy with the idea of entrepreneurship. Keep your dreams to yourself. Just dream.
There, I said it.
I suspect this statement won’t be popular.
Well, I’m not trying to win a popularity contest folks. I’m not going to be politically correct. Maybe I’m having a Donald Trump moment. I am going to just tell the truth. (I think people in our country are starving for truth and transparency).
Yes. The struggle is real. And you know it if you’ve been in business for more than 10 minutes. I’ve experienced it and I suspect you have too.
Nope there is no easy button.
Yes, the struggle is real. But that’s what makes it great.
Being an entrepreneur or business owner that builds a business that stands out and is truly great is one of life’s greatest challenges. It’s the challenge; the struggle that makes it good.
You see, every day we have the opportunity to overcome. We have the opportunity to be challenged. We have the opportunity to learn and grow. In fact it’s required. Because if we don’t we will die or get killed.
There is a line in the movie League of Their Own. Tom Hanks, referring to baseball, said, “It’s the hard that makes it good.”
In business, it’s the hard that makes it good. We have the opportunity to discover WHO we really are. We have to opportunity to see what we are really made of. And, if we respond to the challenge and fight, we get to see WHO we will ultimately become.
And who you will become is a better, stronger, more determined, courageous, disciplined and wiser person who can overcome and survive anything life throws at you.
The struggle is real. Embrace it.
I’ve got your back.
The older I get, the more I am coming to recognize, and perhaps accept the idea, that I simply don’t or won’t fully understand everything that happens in life.
It used to give me comfort, perhaps some solace, in being able to interpret or explain why we encounter difficult or challenging situations.
I am an encourager. I strive to be a person who is brings hope to people who are experiencing challenging or painful situations.
Recently, I have come to a personal conclusion, that I simply can’t explain why we sometimes get beat up by life.
Case in point. I had a conversation with a client yesterday. I won’t mention any names, but over the last several months, she has been pummeled by some of the weirdest, trying and difficult circumstance related to a business – all at once.
Many people might have to deal with one or two of these challenges at once, but she is dealing with 5 or 6 issues that are literally consuming most, if not all, of her time.
Even in the midst of that I haven’t ever heard her say, “Why me?” She has just kept plugging along.
In my hope to provide some encouragement to the situation, I offered a different perspective. My perspective comes from a lifetime of observation and over 20 years of coaching, mentoring, supporting and challenging business owners, leaders and people to become better at what they do.
I have witnessed this phenomenon working with business owners, employees and managers as they work to become better people and more effective in their roles.
In a situation where a person is growing, improving, building, changing, moving towards a goal, vision or desired action – when they’ve committed to something – they will encounter obstacles, challenges, opposition and resistance.
We simply don’t experience resistance standing still. Unless it’s gravity.
I’ve seen and experienced it myself over and over and over again. I can’t explain why this phenomenon exists.
Why can’t it just be smooth sailing? Why must we be punished for doing something good, for improving, I often ask?
Let me save you some time. Asking those questions will lead to a dead end. Stop worrying about why.
Rather, consider the resistance and challenges you are encountering as a sign.
YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT TRACK.
The more resistance we experience often suggests the bigger and better the goal or direction you are pursuing.
What it really comes down to is whether or not we have to guts, determination and will to persevere through until we see a breakthrough.
Feeling like things are tough. GOOD!!!!! You are in the right place. Don’t you dare quit! Don’t even think about it.
I am sometimes accused of using too many cliques. Oh well. Here is one that I think appropriately applies.
When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
Here are a couple strategies that I use when I am feeling challenged. Perhaps you can apply some yourself.
1- Review my vision. I get refocused on the reason WHY I am doing what I am doing. My work and effort is honorable and is improving the lives of 100’s perhaps 1000’s of lives every year. My vision is important and worth the fight. (I’m fight for and with my clients)
2- Consider the worst case scenarios and ask myself this question – “can I live with the outcome.” Here is another clique. “What doesn’t kill me will make me stronger.”
3- Get support. I turn to mentors, coaches (yes, I have a coach) and experts to help me navigate through situations.
4- Get into a community of people who are likeminded and challenging themselves too. This is one of the many reasons I’ve formed the Level 7 Community and I conduct the Level 7 Roundtable Events. I am amazing when my business clients gather and begin to see how their peers experience the same challenges and issues in their lives and businesses as they pursue their vision. It makes them feel like they are not alone.
5- Keep moving. Take some action. Don’t get paralyzed. And don’t retreat. Don’t you dare!
6- Embrace the adventure and the challenge. Life is about ups and downs. The downs are good too. Yes, it pains me to say that. It is way easier said than lived. But it is a healthy perspective. Some of my most difficult challenges in life taught me massive lessons and, more importantly, made me a better person.
7- A good friend of mine, Bryan Hurd at www.bhurdinutah.com reminded me the other day that a motivated, focused and committed team will always accomplish more than one person possible can. Engage your team. Show them the vision. Ask them to join you and fight for the vision and dream too.
How do you cope? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
There are good things, greatness within you. If you are battling – then good. Battle on. I am right there with you.
Effective leaders do the right type of work and come in all shapes and sizes of personality. Some drive results, some collaborate. Some are extroverts and some are introverts. Regardless, leaders engage in a certain type of work and perform specific activities, not unlike any other role or position in an organization.
So let’s make something very, very clear – leadership is NOT about personality. Having worked one on one with 1000’s of leaders in dozens of different type of businesses and scenarios, I have seen wide varieties of personalities that are very effective in their leadership responsibilities.
I have also worked with many people in leadership roles that, based on their personalities, people might assume they would be effective leaders but they were not. In fact, they were terrible. They simply didn’t engage in the right type of work and do it well.
Effective leaders all have one thing in common…
They have enlisted and built a group of enthusiastic and focused followers.
Thanks for listening and thanks for leading.
I have another confession. Last week I shared my experience dealing with tension and resistance.
This week I confess that I got caught up in the shiny objectives. You know…some idea caught your attention and before you know it you went down a rabbit trail that wasted your time and energy.
Entrepreneur are especially susceptible to this kind of behavior. We are problem solvers. It’s our nature. We are masters at identifying something that’s not working and then we find a solution. We love new ideas, tools, methods, technology and gadgets.
We are unique in this sense. Special. In my opinion, it’s one of the reasons I think business owners are so valuable to our economy and society.
We fix and get stuff done! Yeah! Give me a B – B. Give me a U – U. Okay you get the point.
However, this wonderful gift and talent can be a curse. Some of us get bored too. We need a new adventure.
I experienced this syndrome firsthand this week. I got caught up in a shiny object. I spent enough time going down a rabbit hole that afterward I felt dirty and needed a bath. No it wasn’t anything weird or disgusting.
I just realized that I had gotten off course from my primary mission and goal long enough that I felt guilty and frustrated. Like I just had wasted a whole bunch of time. My wife says, “Nobody got time for that.”
So I felt guilty like I feel after eating that extra piece of pie or cake. (mmm…did I just say pie?)
Here are the lessons I learned from last week.
#1 – Stay focused on my goals. I have found that if I review them daily – even for a minute or two – it helps me stay focused on what matters most. It helps, by the way, to have written goals and perhaps a vision that really matters to you.
#2 – Be disciplined when it comes to engaging in innovation. Let’s face it…that’s what we do when we are chasing the shiny object…we are innovating or looking for a better way of doing things. Innovation is critical. We just need to do it in the right time and right way.
#3 – Give myself permission to chase a shiny object from time to time. I had suggested to a client to spend a couple hours on Fridays to have fun learning new things without any expectation to do anything with it. Just feed the entrepreneurial animal in you.
#4 – Get a hobby. I have one by the way…I just wasn’t engaged in it last week. Business owners are notorious for getting bored and getting off track from their goals. I will tell you that my most successful clients stay focused on their primary businesses.
Okay…so I’ve made my confession. What about you? Have you found yourself chasing a shiny object from time to time? What do you do to stay focused?
“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Many people are familiar with the story about Jesus walking on water. But did you know Peter, one of His disciples, walked on water too? The bible recounts how Peter saw Jesus walking on the water. Peter, on a boat, called out to Jesus as He walking by. He said, “Lord if it’s really you, call me to you.”
Jesus told Peter to come to Him. So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water. It wasn’t until Peter took his eyes off Jesus that he began to sink.
Peter noticed and was distracted by the wind and the waves around him. He lost focus.
Regardless of your beliefs, one point of this story that can be applied to us all is this…
When we stay focused on our goals and vision, we will accomplish extraordinary things. However, the world around us is filled with distractions, wind and waves if you will, that want to take your eyes off your target. The wind and waves of life will always be there. Let’s accept that fact.
The solution is simple. Identify your target. Acknowledge that distractions are going to be all around you. However, never take your focus off your target.
Do you know what your target is? Is it so clear to you in your mind (and on paper) that when you focus you can see exactly what you are going for?
If you don’t have a clear target, coupled with laser focus, chances are you won’t be walking on water.